Last night, my daughters and I were fortunate enough to score some 9th row tickets to an NBA basketball game. We took some friends with us to share the experience.

Now, I've been to quite a few professional sporting events and one thing has always been apparent. When the teams sucks, the marketing department comes up with really stupid ideas to fill the void in the seats and in some fashion, creates a lame form of 'filler' entertainment to make up for the crappy product on the field/court/rink.

This particular NBA team is in the middle of a mediocre year. No major stars, young team and only marginal hopes for making the playoffs. (don't get me started on that..playoffs in the NBA can hurt your chances of moving up in draft picks and could actually be worse...best to really suck and pick up good draft picks you can trade for better players or for young college studs)

As we sat watching our team take a 20 point lead (ultimately winning the game) I couldn't help but think about how sports must have been like 20 or 30 years ago when all the BS wasn't taking place during the game.

Before, during and after the game we witnessed:

• A grown man dressed up and performing as a rabbit on steroids. This is what is known as a 'mascot'.
  
  
• Two grown men dressed as 'sumo' wrestlers
  
  
• 16 women clad in, ah, spandex, dancing. (the 'dance' team...right) This is the most akward position I was in all night. Gawking at women dressed in their underwear, (basically) dancing a samba and then hoping your own daughters don't notice you staring at the exposed 'skin'.
  
  
• an announcer that abused the 'echo' button on every player name after every basket. ALL THE TIME.
  
  
• local high school marching bands playing (terribly) in the walkways
  
  
• more high school bands competing during the game. (aka 'battle of the bands). The poor band from a bad school district near Philly could barely get their sound across the gym. The other band, from a Southern NJ seaside school was dressed in tie-dyed t-shirts and I suspect they were probably dealing pot in the bathroom as well. (whatever happened to representing your school in good clothes, like a white collared shirt and pants...? these kids looked like shit frankly.)
  
  
• stupid, not funny video clips of a marching band from the last piss-poor American Pie movie. At least put the funny stuff up. Like the part where he puts his dick into the pie. Now that would make me laugh out loud. They don't have the balls.
  
  
• ridiculous 'ring tone' like sound effects after plays I guess to notify us that we were supposed to have seen something. It made me reach for my blackberry constantly.
  
  
• a terrible vidoe montage of 'past' team memorable moments. None of which happened in the last 7 years and many of which happened 20 plus years ago. This was supposed to get us 'excited' for the game.
  
  
• Two 'under 6' kids driving mini Cadillac Escalades around orange cones.
  
  
• Dopey male 'dancers' disrupting the view of the female strippers/dancers.
  
  
• Dopey rabbit (again) shooting crappy t-shirts into the crowd. All of which appeared to land in the upper deck where there were no fans.
  
  
• a text message 'contest' to sit courtside. Yes, send a text to a particular number and you could be picked to sit in two 'easy chairs' about 30' from the court, no where near 'courtside'. But I guess if you are sitting upstairs in the 'cheap' ($50) seats, sitting in a Lay-Z-Boy for free is better than nothing.
  
  
• ticket prices of $115. EACH. (our seats, yes)
  
  
• Courtside, under the basket, ticket prices of $600. EACH.
  
  
• $3.00 Water Ice.
  
  
• Constant video shots of young kids dancing to 'Push It' or 'Let's Get it Started'. Constantly. During every time out.

Whatever happened to the game as entertainment. Now it just seems like the NBA is marketing the total 'experience' and using that to justify outrageous ticket prices. I'm not kidding. $115 a seat for a 2 hour basketball game. And no food included. That's $460 clams for a family of four, or $3.80 per minute of playing time.

At least there's no crappy 'team band' anymore. There used to be a house band that played all the time.

Oh well, at least there's college basketball. That just has the game, cheerleaders and (unjustly) non-paid players. Sorta like it used to be.

Last Person Out.....shoot the dude in the rabbit suit.

My wife switched the family TV, Internet and phone service a few months ago to Verizon Fios. Previously we were with Comcast. The customer service at Comcast SUCKS and (I) we were waiting for an opportunity to switch.  One day the wife answered a knock at the door and a few minutes later we were scheduled for a Fios installation.

The point of this blog isn't to discuss the finer points or benefits of Verizon FIOS over Comcast (though Verizon has much finer customer service and an immensely faster internet connection) it's to point out that I have found a new favorite channel, the Fox Soccer Channel.

Now, on a Saturday or Sunday morning I can watch LIVE English Premier league football matches! For the uninitiated I know this may not be a big deal (depending on your opinion of soccer), but Comcast didn't have this particular channel and now I can't get enough of the international flavor, the stadiums full of chanting fans, or the speed and ability on the 'pitch'. It's significantly expanding the reach of soccer into American households and I welcome it.

Yes, these athletes are paid handsomely and probably have some of the same issues (re: steriods, HUGE paydays) our current stock of jocks have here in the good old USA, but man, I just love watching these guys play soccer.  It brings a little international flair to our house where most of the time I am forced to change channels between Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon and Disney.

I even have our daughters enjoying watching the matches. I use it as a teaching tool on player position, passing and strategy with my oldest daughter. With the use of the 'pause' and 'rewind' functions on the DVR I now have a little coaching tool. I find myself pausing, rewinding and watching in slow-mo different plays and explaining them to my daughter. AWESOME.

Anyway, now I have to figure out this whole 'Premier League' thing and how these teams play for what seems like months and months and how a team can win the 'Premier League' championship and how the other teams in 'lesser' leagues figure in, etc. It appears quite complex to this American but I'm sure some Brit out there could explain it to me. I do get the fact that they have a corporate sponsor...Barclays Bank. Being American and working for a huge international corporation, I get the sponsorship thing...

So far, I'm leaning towards becoming a fan of either Chelsea or Arsenal...but I don't know why..probably because they play on TV the most I guess....no way I go for Man-U...they are like the Patriots...just too dominant and 'everyone's' favorite. I have to pick a non-winner just like a true Philly sports fan.

Anyway, I also have to get a primer on the chants. I want to teach the girls how to chant like the hooligans on the telly.

Last Person Out.....See you on the pitch.

Is anyone else tired of the steriod scandal in baseball? I am. In fact, I'm annoyed that our tax dollars are being spent trying to figure out who shot up who with what needle with what type of human growth hormone.  It's adbsurb. It seems to me that:

1)  We have bigger, more pressing issues, say, Iraq, the economy and who planted a seed inside Brittany Spear's sister Jamie Lynn Spears...she's on a TeenNick show 'Zoe 101' (which my daughters love) and she's cute and all but I keep watching wondering which of her co-stars might have been 'the impregnator'....the show is set at a private school with dorm rooms and such...pretty easy pickin's.

2) Our elected officials just want to be in the spotlight with sports guys who they admired...and I quote from CNBC:

On Tuesday, Clemens made the rounds on Capitol Hill one last time, wearing a gray pinstriped suit and squeezing face-to-face meetings into the busy schedules of committee members. He met with five lawmakers over a four-hour span Tuesday, on top of the 19 he saw Thursday and Friday.

"I enjoyed talking with him," said Rep. Diane Watson, D-Calif., who said the discussion included baseball stories and personal accounts about the Sept. 11 attacks. "It's always good to meet the person who is in the spotlight. ... I told him, 'This is not a trial.'"

3)  Big money and an all powerful players union have pretty much ruined baseball so who cares if a bunch of jocks shoot themselves up with 'roids just to compete..it's all just entertainment anyway..let them ruin their bodies.

What really  got me lathered up was a comment I heard regarding 'protecting the youth of america' from the scourge that is steriods.' Ok, Ok, fine, protect the youth. Hell, I WISH I could have taken something to make myself stronger when I was younger...but I was what I was so I had to deal with it. Maybe I was misguided and thought that all food was good for me and that chowing down two large fries at McDonalds after a soccer game was good for me......oh, wait, I wasn't protected from that was I?

Hell no! What we have her folks is a conundrum...don't tell me you're protecting the 'youth' of america by putting multi-million dollar atheletes on trial for steriod use when fast food still exists, is marketed directly at kids (toys in the food box?) and is not put under the same amount of scrutiny. Maybe the committee on 'Oversight and Government Reform' should skip their lunch and get started on these multi-million dollar corporations . I suspect, scratch that, KNOW, that more kids are damaged by fast food than by steriods every day. A nationwide study of 6,000 children in 2004 stated:

Researchers found that, on a typical day:

• 
  
  30% of children ate fast food.
  
  


• Fast food was the main food source for 29 to 38% of children.
  
  
• Among 4- to 8-year-olds, those who ate fast food ate 6% more food the rest of the day than kids who didn't eat fast food.
  
  
• Among 14- to 10-year-olds, fast-food eaters ate 17% more than other kids.
  
  
• On average, fast-food eaters ate 15% more calories than other kids.

HOLY SHIT!   40% of the kids used fast food as a primary meal. Check this out:

Fast food seemed to contribute an additional 57 calories a day to the average child's daily diet.

At that rate, the child would gain 6 pounds each year -- if they didn't get enough exercise to burn it off.

Damn, that's a lot of fat kids that won't ever get to the steriod needle because they can't off the couch even to play baseball or football. Imagine if they toss a few all day video game sessions in there with their Big Mac. Damn, I like a good video game but mixing fast food and no exercise is a receipe for cardiac arrest.

It would seem to me that the poisoning of our population might get more attention from the government than steriods in baseball, but then what do I know. I don't have to worry about getting re-elected and taking money for my campaign. Come to think of it, most of the law makers probably have money and don't even think of taking their families someplace where you can feed (poison) everyone for less than $10.

Last Person Out.....go to the game, but walk away from the Big Mac.

This past weekend my wife and I returned, after ten years, to a small inn near the Pocono, PA mountains. It's quaint, quiet and rustic and reminds me of the inn featured in the movie 'White Christmas'.  My fondness stems from a few memories; it was snowing quite beautifully the last time we visited, the food was excellent and the accomodations were comfortable. We even did some cross country skiing.

This past trip was a bit different which isn't surprising. I wasn't expecting to replicate the magic of the first one, in fact, I was just hoping that we wouldn't be dissapointed. We had some snow during our stay, but not enough to allow us to cross country ski and the accomodations and food were as remembered. Though, I've been in a few more fine dining establishments since then and this one was good, but not nearly as exotic as maybe I remembered it. It was a trip to a recently built 100 store outlet that got me to thinking just how much our lives have changed in ten years and what was different about our stay at the inn this time. Specifically the changes to our families and the technology that is pervasive in so much of our day to day living.

Family Before: No Kids, no dog and plenty of sleep and time to hit the gym or go to the movies on a whim or, just nap on the couch.  Time was your own and frankly, it rocked.

Family Now: 3 kids, 1 dog and awake every night, kids shows on TV constantly, dog poop in the yard that has to be cleaned up and napping on the couch is consider slothenly. Time on your own has to be scheduled, babysitters consulted and four pages of logisitcal instructions left behind on how to manage a significant event, like the baby pooping in the crib or the dog barfing on the new sofa.

Technology Before: Cell phones, but LIMITED coverage, pagers still around, movies in your room only if the VCR worked or they had a VCR, (let's not talk about the selection of movies that might be provided) no internet (maybe dialup at home) and certainly no email. Cameras still used film and our car had a radio and probably a CD player.  Phone in the room, yes, but you'd have to use a calling card to get out. No music, unless you carted your portable CD player or played the clock radio. Used directions taken over the phone to travel to the inn.

Technology Today: Cellphone AND Blackberry worked in the middle of the Pocono mountain range. (even down in the valley between mountains) Email about our trip, kid planning and personal/work issues were sent and delivered on demand, pictures were taken from a 'digital' camera (no film) to be viewed on our laptop. Pictures and video were also captured on my handheld 'Blackberry' device and sent immediately to friends and family. We carried a small laptop computer around and could choose from a selection of over 7,000 movies from Netflix that we could download immediately over the wireless internet connection in the room. Over 7 million or so songs to choose from via a digital music service called NAPSTER streaming from my laptop via that same wireless internet connection. Used my iPod in the truck to carry 7,000+ songs with me to listen to over headphones or in the truck. The navigation system in our truck, using satellites, showed us where we are and how to get where we are going and Sirius radio, again connected to satellites, allowed us to listen to CNN and broadcast TV during our trip. No breaking up of a fuzzy FM or AM signal and no commercials on any of our favorite Sirius music stations.

My body weight Before: Probably 175 lbs

My body weight After: Probably 190 lbs

Ok, so the weight thing needs some work, but I probably have more muscle, yeah, that's it. More muscle.

 I think you see my point, change is pervasive and impressive. I'm amazed to think about what we can do today with small devices made of plastic, alloys and electronics versus just a short ten years ago. I'm more impressed and proud that I have a healthy and happy family. Technology can connect us, entertain us and make us more productive, (and probably spoils us and makes us expect more) but only our family can enrich and fulfill us.

Last Person Out.......embrace technology, embrace change and love your family. Happy V-Day.

What a day to be a Beagle. The Westminster Kennel Club crowned it's first Beagle as 'Best in Show' since 1939. Good Lord, I didn't know prejudice for the Beagle ran that deep. 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23140367/site/21683474/

Uno, 3 years old and ironically named, beat out a bunch of other dogs, like 2,627 to be exact, to be awarded the top prize. I learned of Uno's feat this morning on the 'Today' show....I learn a lot from that show. The best part of the interview was when Matt Lauer, that horn-dog himself, commented to Uno's handler just how popular Uno will be with the ladies. I guess Matt is jealous.... Win the big show, get all the attention on national TV and then get laid for the next year in an attempt to extend the blood line....and get paid to do it. It's a good gig if you can get it.

It was also reported, taking a page from the Bill Belichick handbook, that Uno celebrated by chewing on the microphones of reporters who tried to interview his winning crew. That's my kind of dog. 

My grandfather had a beagle. His name was George. He didn't compete in any shows or get laid (that I'm aware of). He pretty much just laid around, though he might have chased down a rabbit or two in his prime. In fact, what I remember was that he was doghouse neighbors with my grandfather's other dag, Bawler, a coonhound.  I can still see George out in the backyard, tied up to his doghouse. I don't recall if he liked me, or frankly if I liked him, but I do remember that one day George wasn't there and my grandfather showed me where he buried him in the backyard. This was my first real brush with death and that you never forget.

I know that George is up there in doggy heaven looking down and thrilled to finally see the beagle get it's 15 minutes.......with every female beagle in heat from here to Nevada. Eat your heart out Matt Lauer.

Last Person Out.......three cheers for Uno!