Last night, my daughters and I were fortunate enough to score some 9th row tickets to an NBA basketball game. We took some friends with us to share the experience.

Now, I've been to quite a few professional sporting events and one thing has always been apparent. When the teams sucks, the marketing department comes up with really stupid ideas to fill the void in the seats and in some fashion, creates a lame form of 'filler' entertainment to make up for the crappy product on the field/court/rink.

This particular NBA team is in the middle of a mediocre year. No major stars, young team and only marginal hopes for making the playoffs. (don't get me started on that..playoffs in the NBA can hurt your chances of moving up in draft picks and could actually be worse...best to really suck and pick up good draft picks you can trade for better players or for young college studs)

As we sat watching our team take a 20 point lead (ultimately winning the game) I couldn't help but think about how sports must have been like 20 or 30 years ago when all the BS wasn't taking place during the game.

Before, during and after the game we witnessed:

• A grown man dressed up and performing as a rabbit on steroids. This is what is known as a 'mascot'.
  
  
• Two grown men dressed as 'sumo' wrestlers
  
  
• 16 women clad in, ah, spandex, dancing. (the 'dance' team...right) This is the most akward position I was in all night. Gawking at women dressed in their underwear, (basically) dancing a samba and then hoping your own daughters don't notice you staring at the exposed 'skin'.
  
  
• an announcer that abused the 'echo' button on every player name after every basket. ALL THE TIME.
  
  
• local high school marching bands playing (terribly) in the walkways
  
  
• more high school bands competing during the game. (aka 'battle of the bands). The poor band from a bad school district near Philly could barely get their sound across the gym. The other band, from a Southern NJ seaside school was dressed in tie-dyed t-shirts and I suspect they were probably dealing pot in the bathroom as well. (whatever happened to representing your school in good clothes, like a white collared shirt and pants...? these kids looked like shit frankly.)
  
  
• stupid, not funny video clips of a marching band from the last piss-poor American Pie movie. At least put the funny stuff up. Like the part where he puts his dick into the pie. Now that would make me laugh out loud. They don't have the balls.
  
  
• ridiculous 'ring tone' like sound effects after plays I guess to notify us that we were supposed to have seen something. It made me reach for my blackberry constantly.
  
  
• a terrible vidoe montage of 'past' team memorable moments. None of which happened in the last 7 years and many of which happened 20 plus years ago. This was supposed to get us 'excited' for the game.
  
  
• Two 'under 6' kids driving mini Cadillac Escalades around orange cones.
  
  
• Dopey male 'dancers' disrupting the view of the female strippers/dancers.
  
  
• Dopey rabbit (again) shooting crappy t-shirts into the crowd. All of which appeared to land in the upper deck where there were no fans.
  
  
• a text message 'contest' to sit courtside. Yes, send a text to a particular number and you could be picked to sit in two 'easy chairs' about 30' from the court, no where near 'courtside'. But I guess if you are sitting upstairs in the 'cheap' ($50) seats, sitting in a Lay-Z-Boy for free is better than nothing.
  
  
• ticket prices of $115. EACH. (our seats, yes)
  
  
• Courtside, under the basket, ticket prices of $600. EACH.
  
  
• $3.00 Water Ice.
  
  
• Constant video shots of young kids dancing to 'Push It' or 'Let's Get it Started'. Constantly. During every time out.

Whatever happened to the game as entertainment. Now it just seems like the NBA is marketing the total 'experience' and using that to justify outrageous ticket prices. I'm not kidding. $115 a seat for a 2 hour basketball game. And no food included. That's $460 clams for a family of four, or $3.80 per minute of playing time.

At least there's no crappy 'team band' anymore. There used to be a house band that played all the time.

Oh well, at least there's college basketball. That just has the game, cheerleaders and (unjustly) non-paid players. Sorta like it used to be.

Last Person Out.....shoot the dude in the rabbit suit.